I was reading this post on the SeekingArrangement blog tonight (Sugar Baby Wonders If She’s Asking for Too Much) and started wondering what some people really think a Sugarbaby arrangement is really all about.
I’m not going to sit here and lie and say that a Sugarbaby arrangement does not have the expectation of generosity in terms of gifts and money. However, I have never even considered discussing any sort of monthly allowance with the men I’ve dated – it is up to them to decide what sort of gifts or allowance is appropriate, not me. What is up to me is the decision of whether or not the gifts are enough to keep my attention.
In my experience, when I have found the right Sugardaddy the gifts or allowance will work itself out and will be enough to make both of us happy. My former Attorney Sugardaddy from New York ptobably never gave me less than $4,000 a month in gifts of money, jewelry, clothes, etc and sometimes when we were together for a long weekend or trip that amount went even higher. In exchange, he knew that I would be ready for him any time he needed to get away for a weekend or just wanted an exciting night on the town.
I have enjoyed reading your blog over the last few days. I am new to the sugarbaby lifestyle. I am an older woman that has had her fair share of useless men and relationships and decided to try something different. Money has always been important to me in a relationship but the men I have dated wouldn’t even buy dinner. I decided that if I am going to be in an intimate relationship with a man without any future (99% of the men I have dated just want to have fun) I want to get something out of it. Sure I will end up alone but if I sit home waiting for mr right to come, I will end up alone anyway. I spent 14 years saving myself and he didn’t come. I have been married and divorced but have yet to find mr right.
I met my sugar daddy most recently and it is hard for me to get into it. In this particular situation he is a few years younger than me (i’m 40, he’s 35) and I do prefer older men but it’s just how it happened. He isn’t rich by anymeans and It is hard to ride in his suv after having a boyfriend with a mercedes as I’m not the rugged type. Any way he has been very nice in the short time I have met him and taken me out and also given me some money (not a lot but I didn’t ask for too much as I am new at this and older and not that hot in my opinion although the guys I have been with say I am hot. I am slim and attractive and dress well. I am hoping to find a second sugar daddy to supplement my income and hopefully one that I feel I can ask for more from.
I did have a great shopping trip though and was able to treat myself to some nice cosmetics and cute shoes.
Thanks for the blog! I am new to the SB/SD arrangement. I am currently on 2 of the SD sites. So far, I am meeting my 3rd guy. (hopefully, he’s the real deal). I’m at the point in my life where I’m not looking for marriage. I’m still pretty, in shape and a lot of men are attracted to me. So why not get something out of it?
) I have needs too!! ha ha… I’m tired of the broke guys with no goals. A movie and Chili’s is no longer satisfying… I want MORE!!!! But I don’t know the right way to ask for the allowance thing. Some of the guys on those sites send LOTS of mixed messages. Some say serious relationships, others straight sex (nothing to offer in exchange)… or potential SD material. Not sure how to weed them out and say the “right” thing from the beginning. HELP!! I need a SB mentor!! 
Hi Bravo,
I can give you a little advice since I’ve been a sugar baby for over a year now. It is something that is very easy to fall into, but hard to walk away from. I make more money now than I ever did working at a real job.
To answer you question about discussing financial expectations, all you have to do is ask a man you are messaging online how generous he is willing to be with you. You have to have a figure in mind and never go below that number unless you really need the money.
Two things to consider about having a sugar daddy is A. You are not gaining any skills or experience that you can put on a resume later and B. The money is not consistent especially if your daddy travels or has a family that he needs to attend to first.
If I were you, I would figure out how much money you need a month to cover all your expenses and how much you want to save. I always make sure I have enough money in my savings account to cover myself for at least six months of living.
Don’t feel bad about asking a guy for money. Men are being just as shallow when they date a younger attractive girl. Always put yourself first.
Here is the view of 1 experienced sugar daddy. Everyone knows that money is part of the equation in a sugar daddy/baby relationship … the question is how much money. Be explicit about your expectations. If he’s real, he won’t waste his time (or yours) if your expectations are too high.
Thank you all and the original poster/blogger for your thoughts, I really appreciate the sugar baby and sugar daddies’ comments. I am new to this SB/SD arrangement and so is the current SD I am meeting/talking to. I don’t want to insult him by being forward or seem eager to receive money/gifts.
One thing that has really aggravated me and made me want to give up on trying to get a SD is that the majority of them would mention sex the first time around and get mad and stop emailing when I mentioned money and an expected allowance – open to negotiation. One I actually talked over the phone with and he was ready to hang up because apparently he was making between 200,000-300,000 USD and could not even give me a simple allowance of $4,000.00 a month.
Do these guys only think that being a SB is to provide sex at the SD whim? And that they don’t have to do anything in return? Some have even said, well I should charge you, since you are having sex with me!
To me; being a SB is not just sex, its like being the girlfriend or wife they never had and without the actual commitment of being one. The companionship, eye candy on his arm when he takes you out to expensive places, having fun in the sense of going out to the malls, movies, beach, ect.
hi. i really enjoyed the info. am new at this..actually am a baby at being a sugar baby., barely a month into it and the guy is so generous..he’s married and i ,ve known him for about two years bt the “arrangement” only just began..here’s the problem, i have a regular boyfriend( my SD knws of this and is perfectly fine with it), although our relationship is rocky..infact we are separated, smtimes i cant seem to keep him off my back when i want to spend time with my SD. im considering leaving my bf and just concentrating on the SD, dont gt me wrong, i dont expect him to leave his wife ever..but he jus treats me way better than my bf…he’s given me so much n all my bf seems to do is take!…any thoughts?
To Mimi- I have a SD and no boyfriend, if I meet someone that I am intrested in I date them but if not no big deal. If you can get lucky enough your SD will be able to provide all of your wants and needs. And any other man that comes along better bring it when he does!!